Two Storms. One Mind.

They say being rare is a gift.

Like it’s something soft and glowing— something to admire from a distance. Like it makes you special in a way that feels beautiful.

But nobody talks about this kind of rare.

The kind that lives in your chest and turns the volume up on everything. The kind that takes an ordinary moment and convinces your body it’s a storm. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t choose a mind that loves this deeply and hurts just as quickly. I didn’t choose emotions that don’t just pass through— they take over, rearrange everything, and leave me standing there trying to remember what calm even felt like.

It’s like living inside a system that doesn’t follow its own rules. Some days I’m up— not just okay, but too much. Too fast. Too bright. Like my brain hit the gas and forgot there were ever brakes.

Other days, I drop— quiet, heavy, disconnected. Watching my life happen instead of actually being inside of it.

And somewhere in between all of that is the question I can’t seem to shake: What does this say about me? Because when you hear “less than 1%”… it doesn’t feel rare in a good way. It feels isolating.

Like maybe I’m too much. Too complicated. Too hard to hold. Too different to ever be met exactly where I am.

And the truth is— I don’t always have an answer for that.

But I’ve learned this much: I am not rare because I’m broken.

I’m rare because my mind learned how to survive in ways that don’t look like everyone else’s.

Because my nervous system adapted to something it had to carry.

This isn’t a flaw. This isn’t me being dramatic. This is a body that feels everything in surround sound in a world that expects silence.

And yeah— some days I wish I could turn it down. Some days I wish I blended in instead of standing out in ways that feel this heavy. But I’m still here. Still learning how to catch it before it catches me. Still learning how to breathe through it, name it, soften it— even when I don’t fully understand it yet.

So maybe I am rare. Just not in the way people romanticize.

I’m rare in the way storms are— unpredictable, powerful, misunderstood… but still part of the sky.

~Tj🩷