The Silence You Left Me In

It’s been 8 months.

Eight months of silence from someone who was never just “someone.” He was important. He was my best friend. The person I thought would be there no matter what, the one I didn’t have to question. And somehow, I went from that… to nothing.

My last message is still sitting there, unopened. Not ignored, not answered, just untouched. Like I never mattered enough to even be acknowledged.

And that part?

That’s what sticks. That’s what replays. Because I keep going back, trying to understand how someone who knew me that deeply could walk away like I meant so little.

I’ve questioned myself more than I’d like to admit. Wondered what I missed, what I could have done differently, where it shifted.

But the truth I keep circling back to is this: I showed up. I cared. I was real. And whatever happened, I didn’t deserve silence as an ending.

That’s what makes this so hard to let go of.

Not just losing him, but losing him without a word. Without closure. Without even the respect of a goodbye.

He was important. And maybe that’s why it still hurts the way it does.

Because some people don’t just leave a gap… they leave an echo. And I’m still learning how to sit with that.

~Tj🩷